A City of Strangers

Stephen Sondheim wrote the following lyrics in his musical comedy Company, referring to how people in New York City could seem like complete strangers. "It's a city of strangers / Some come to work, some to play. / A city of strangers / Some come to stare, some to stay / And every day / The ones who stay / Can find each other in the crowded streets and the guarded parks..." Those lyrics have been lingering in my head for the past several days, which is making me realize that everyone in New York is a stranger, although it may not seem that way because we ride the subway or walk down the same avenues, but in fact we are strangers.

In a city where we're all on time schedule, heading towards a certain destination, how does one connect with another person? The connection that I'm talking about isn't a romantic one, but more on the friendship level. How does someone befriend an adult? I've been trying to figure that out every since I arrived.

It's not like it was when we where in the third grade when all it took to become friends with someone was as simple as just asking, "do you want to be friends?" And the reply was always the same, "Sure." When we were kids we weren't guarded or jaded. We said what was on our minds and we didn't apologize for it. I long for those days. The simpler days. The days when text messages weren't the only way to communicate with friends. The days when hanging out meant exactly that, hanging out; there wasn't a double meaning behind the phrase. 

I was on the subway a few weeks ago, I didn't have my iPOD with me and so I just sat there. In one of the stops two gay guys strolled in laughing. They sat across from me and I was instantly intrigued by them, so I did what any normal person would do in my iPOD-less situation, I ease-dropped. I believe they noticed and I don't think they cared. One had a killer laugh and the other a cute body; at one point they began talking about New York real estate, the one with the cute body was cracking jokes about the market and the one with the killer laugh was filling the subway car with his laugh. I too was chuckling. I felt like I had known both them for years. And that's when it dawned on me; I wanted to be friends with these two guys. But I nipped that crazy idea in the bud when the insecure voice in my heard started saying, "they're going to laugh in your face," or "their friend card is already filled." So I didn't say anything and watched them get off the train two stops before I was. 

This happened several weeks ago and I wished I had said something, because they both seem like great guys who I could've been friends with. If I ever see them on the subway again, I will make sure that we're not strangers because I will ask them if they want to be my friend and hope their reply is, "sure." 

A Better Place

One of the best things about living in New York is that on any single day you can go to any bar for happy hour. 

Last Thursday, happy hour took my friends Eli, Andre, and myself to Gym Sports Bar, located on Eighth Avenue between 18th and 19th Street in Chelsea. (Pictured above is an empty Gym Sports Bar). Next Magazine describes Gym Sports Bar as, "New York's first all-gay sports bar with two floors of jock action." Sounds tantalizing doesn't it? The bar reflects any typical straight sports bar that I've ever been to; the only difference is that this particular bar is geared towards the gays. And why not, we all like drink cheap beer and watch the basketball game after a long day at the office. 

When the three of us arrived we were greeted by unfriendly glances.  You can say we looked really "faggy" (I hate using that word), but we did compared to all the "macho" (again hate using that word) men that were drinking their four-dollar Heineken. Andre was carrying his belongings in a huge Gucci tote which was hitting the guys in the overly crowded bar. 

After ordering our drinks, we went outside because my friends are chimneys and some big buff guy rolls his eyes and says, "look at these fags coming in here with their designer bags." I didn't hear him say this; it was my friend Eli who brought the rude remark to my attention. "Isn't he also a fag?" I thought.  He is at a gay bar after all. What did he expect, for some straight dudes to bounce in after lacrosse practice? And doesn't this buff dude do the same things we Gucci tote carrying gays do in the bedroom? Yes he does. 

I can't comprehend why gay men have to discriminate within our community. If we don't treat each other as equals, will we ever really achieve equality? It has to start with us because if it doesn't then how can we expect the world to accept us. We're all fighting for the same thing, equality. The equality to be recognized as a human being. If we only realized that the strength is in numbers the world would be a better place.  

A Crossroad

Robert Frost once wrote, "Two roads diverged in a wood / And I took the one less traveled by / And that has made the difference." Sometimes in life we chose to go down roads that we think are the right ones. We see down that path and everything looks clear and bright, but then as time goes on, we come to the realization that we should've taken the other road, the road that was traveled by the rest. I've come to the conclusion that the road less traveled, the one I've been on, isn't as wonderful as Frost has painted it.

I'm currently at a crossroad in my life. Recently moved to New York. Recently graduated from graduate school. Currently looking for a job. When people ask me what I do, I like to sat that I'm a freelance writer; it makes me sound less pathetic and more independent. The crossroad that I'm currently on is leading me to reevaluate my life and the choices that I have made up to this point. I no longer have the safety net that school provided and that's frightening. It's something we all face when we graduate school, that uncertainty if things are going to be all right. While being in school I missed out on life experiences that everyone else was getting. And just today it dawned on me that having life experience is better than having two degrees. Who knew? No one told me; apparently my e-mail was lost somewhere in cyber land. I've been applying for numerous jobs and when I get to the skill section of the application, I have to pause, take a deep breath, and I ponder what skills do I really have? There's no box provided to check that I know how to write a well-structured play. Even the theatre jobs that I've been applying for don't want me, I'm not an ideal candidate because I'm lacking the LIFE EXPERIENCE!

My friend Adam gave me the best advice the other day, "anything you want in this city you have to find for yourself." That's exactly what I'm going to do now. I'm going to have to just put myself out there one-hundred-percent. I think people in New York forget what it's like to struggle when one first arrives to the city. When someone is clearly asking for help they don't want to extend a hand, they figure they should also struggle like they once did.

On a chipper note, I really do love living in New York. Last Friday night, I was walking by Columbus Circle and I looked up at the Time-Warner building and I got chills. I live here. I really do live here. And it's incredible! One of my dreams has come true - I always yearned to live in New York and now it's finally happened.

I'm not going to lie and say that it's been an easy transition because it's been rough. But there has been some amazing days though; like sitting in Central Park with Adam collaborating on a new project, to drinking sangria with Lauren and Elizabeth at Odessa Cafe in the Lower East Side, to witnessing an amazing play like August: Osage County, or my favorite passing out KY lube to all the gays for gay pride (yeah that was actually my first job - and yeah I got paid for it). Some days have been lonelier than others, but I know that I'm not alone because I have a strong group of friends who are there when I need them.

Overall, this road that I'm currently striding along is something that I'm never going to regret. This is home. This is where I belong. And this is where I'm going to make it. Hope is the last thing that dies, according to my grandma. I've always been a hopeful person; even when things get dark, there always seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel and that's where the hope lies.

20 New York Life Lessons

Here Are Several Things I've Learned While Living In New York:

1) Always be friendly to the host or hostess. They're you're meal ticket, literally.

2) If you carry a purse with you - there better be an umbrella and a costume change in there. "That's why we carry such big bags." - Brian (a gay New Yorker as to why the bags are so huge).

3) The R train will not take me directly home (so stop riding it), but it will take me to 34th Street or Times Square and I can transfer to the N/W.

4) The guys are hotter! And they're everywhere; waiting for the subway, running shirtless at eight pm on Ditmars Boulevard, sitting in Union Square reading The New Yorker, sipping a martini at Therapy on a Wednesday night, bartending at G-bar...ay me...the possibilities are endless...where are my business cards, seriously?

5) I can only buy what I can carry. Which is probably good for my wallet right now.

6) "Thursdays are the new Fridays. Fridays are the new Saturdays and Saturday is still...well...Saturday." - Adam (describing how New Yorkers party).

7) You can't get lost in the city; it's an island you'd fall off when you get to the end.

8) Always carry CASH with you; especially if you're in a Chelsea bar, they don't take ATM.

9) You can meet people really easily here. All you have to do is talk and smile. Who knew?

10) West of Manhattan the avenues go higher. East of Manhattan the avenues go lower.

11) North of Manhattan the streets go higher. South of Manhattan the streets go lower. (That took me about a month to get and a million times asking Adam and Christov, but they were patient).

12) There is always something to do on any single night of the week.

13) Oscar asks Matthew, "How does someone stay looking fresh and cute in this humidity?" Matthew replies, "You don't. We all do that dirty, grungy, sweaty look in the summer." (Oscar nods his head in disapproval).

14) There are NO FREE REFILLS!

15) I noticed that everything is about one to two dollars more expensive than on the West Coast.

16) "Williamsburg boys wear tapered jeans and have complicated haircuts." - Eli (referring to the gay boys in Williamsburg, Brooklyn as we were waiting for the G train).

17) This city is extremely romantic, I can't wait to start dating.

18) It always seems to rain between one and four p.m.

19) I need to keep my student ID; it will get me cheaper tickets to Broadway shows. Which means I will be a student at the age of thirty-five and that's fine with me.

20) "You're never alone in the city." - Carrie Bradshaw (And boy was she right).

(Times Square, June 2008)

Graduation Is Upon Me

On Saturday, I will be graduating UNLV with a Master of Fine Arts in Playwriting; it's a big accomplishment, not to be taken lightly. I'm actually really proud of myself. There were days that I thought I would never get through it and nights were I would write myself to sleep. 

Anyone who's gone through grad school can tell you it's no walk in the park. It's hard ass hell; it's been some of the toughest three years of my life. I remember in my first year one of the third year playwrights telling me that my first year would be the hardest and it actually wasn't. The hardest year has been this past one, but it's also been really rewarding.

When I receive my 'fake' diploma this Saturday (because most of us know that I won't receive the real diploma until June or July) I will look back on these last three years with found memory knowing that it was worth every tear, laughter, and sacrifice. I remember thinking the night before I moved to Vegas, "Am I doing the right thing?" Now I know that it was, I did do the right thing and I would do it all over again. 

I was having lunch with my friend Sarah last Thursday and we were talking about how being in grad school has been like living in a sheltered bubble for the past three years. We knew exactly how each year was going to be laid out for us. We taught, for the most part, the same classes, and the classes that we took as students were always at the same time, nothing ever changed. I knew that on Tuesdays and Thursdays I would teach Gay Plays from 11:45 am to 12:30 pm, that has been my schedule for the past two years. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, I love to have a set routine, I actually live for a set routine. But now that security blanket will be gone and it's a little frightening.

 

One of the main reasons that I went to grad school was because I didn't like the real world. I was unhappy with the job that I had when I graduated undergrad. I applied to grad school so I could go back to that sheltered life I call school. Am I ready for the real world now? Who knows? But every day millions of people go out there and they seem to be fine; I think I'll be all right. I have to grow up sometime; I can't hide in Neverland forever.

Mike and Oscar at UNLV Graduation (May 2008)

Family Walk-Out

From my previous post some of you know that the Ten-Minute Play Festival just opened at the Paul Harris Theatre at UNLV. Well, we had a pretty good house today. I was helping with taking the tickets and passing out the programs and there was this family with three small kids, I would say they were all around 6 or 7 years old. They asked if the shows were kid appropriate and the House Manager (who happens to be my roommate and the director of my ten-minute) informed them that most of the shows are intended for a mature audience. Well, they still decided to walk in and see the shows. I thought, 'let's see which show they walk out on.'

The first show starts and right at the beginning two characters have guns pointing at each other, they shoot and collapse to the floor. The whole play is about trying to figure out how they killed each other. The main point is that there's violence on stage and the parents (who were sitting in front of me) were okay with letting their kids see the violence.

The second show, is a fun play about two unconventional people finding romance at the Hoover Damn. The only adult content in this show is when the two characters have a passionate kiss on stage, which is not really adult content, but let's go with that. But the parents didn't seem to mind the passionate kiss.

So now the third show begins, which just happens to be mine, everything is going fine until one of the characters says, "That's right you just like to have sex with men and not call yourself a-" The character gets cut off before he can say the word fag or queer. This is when the dad turns to the mom and within a minute, they gather their three children and leave. 

I wasn't surprised by this, I was just waiting to see how long they were going to last. But what I don't understand is how they can let their kids sit and watch two guys shoot at each other, not once, not twice, but three times and be okay with it. And when one male actor says to another male actor, have sex with men, they go running to the door. I just don't understand in what kind of society we live in that this is okay. I mean granted everyone is allowed to raise their children how they please, but if I was them and the House Manager tells me there is adult content in the shows, you better believe that my kids will not be entering that theatre, especially when they're only 6 or 7 years old. It's not "Charlie Brown" for crying out loud.

I don't really know why this bothers me, I just thought that we're getting passed all of this, but clearly people's actions are showing that we're not passed this. And who knows when we will. I just have to remind myself that the rest of the audience did stay and they seemed to enjoy the show. And I shouldn't let some ignorant people rain on my parade, but it's still annoying.

10 to 15-Minute Play Festival at UNLV

The UNLV Department of Theatre opens the 10 to 15-Minute Play Festival April 23rd in the Paul Harris Theatre. This evening of six original short plays continues to be popular with Las Vegas audiences and features new plays from MFA Playwrights in the program.

What happens when six playwrights take Las Vegas as a backdrop and write plays around that location? Six completely different and exciting plays.

My ten-minute, Remains of December, is a play about what happens when the past comes back for closure and let's out the horrible truth. The cast features Spenser Dewess, Rob Bartusch, and Chelsea Brim. Direction by Stephen Crandall.

Performances are April 23, 24, 25, 26 at 8 p.m. with matinees at 2 p.m. on April 26 and 27. Tickets are FREE for UNLV Students. Tickets are $7.50 and on sale at the UNLV Performing Arts Center Box Office. Box Office hours are Monday through Friday from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. and Saturday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. The Box Office may be reached by calling 702-895-2787

I recommend that if you live in Las Vegas and want to see some original theatre, come check out these six plays. You won't regret it!

Remains of December Cast and Production Team. (from L-R) Oscar Limon (playwright), Spenser Dewess, Chelsea Brim, Rob Bartusch, and Stephen Crandall (director).