A Crossroad

Robert Frost once wrote, "Two roads diverged in a wood / And I took the one less traveled by / And that has made the difference." Sometimes in life we chose to go down roads that we think are the right ones. We see down that path and everything looks clear and bright, but then as time goes on, we come to the realization that we should've taken the other road, the road that was traveled by the rest. I've come to the conclusion that the road less traveled, the one I've been on, isn't as wonderful as Frost has painted it.

I'm currently at a crossroad in my life. Recently moved to New York. Recently graduated from graduate school. Currently looking for a job. When people ask me what I do, I like to sat that I'm a freelance writer; it makes me sound less pathetic and more independent. The crossroad that I'm currently on is leading me to reevaluate my life and the choices that I have made up to this point. I no longer have the safety net that school provided and that's frightening. It's something we all face when we graduate school, that uncertainty if things are going to be all right. While being in school I missed out on life experiences that everyone else was getting. And just today it dawned on me that having life experience is better than having two degrees. Who knew? No one told me; apparently my e-mail was lost somewhere in cyber land. I've been applying for numerous jobs and when I get to the skill section of the application, I have to pause, take a deep breath, and I ponder what skills do I really have? There's no box provided to check that I know how to write a well-structured play. Even the theatre jobs that I've been applying for don't want me, I'm not an ideal candidate because I'm lacking the LIFE EXPERIENCE!

My friend Adam gave me the best advice the other day, "anything you want in this city you have to find for yourself." That's exactly what I'm going to do now. I'm going to have to just put myself out there one-hundred-percent. I think people in New York forget what it's like to struggle when one first arrives to the city. When someone is clearly asking for help they don't want to extend a hand, they figure they should also struggle like they once did.

On a chipper note, I really do love living in New York. Last Friday night, I was walking by Columbus Circle and I looked up at the Time-Warner building and I got chills. I live here. I really do live here. And it's incredible! One of my dreams has come true - I always yearned to live in New York and now it's finally happened.

I'm not going to lie and say that it's been an easy transition because it's been rough. But there has been some amazing days though; like sitting in Central Park with Adam collaborating on a new project, to drinking sangria with Lauren and Elizabeth at Odessa Cafe in the Lower East Side, to witnessing an amazing play like August: Osage County, or my favorite passing out KY lube to all the gays for gay pride (yeah that was actually my first job - and yeah I got paid for it). Some days have been lonelier than others, but I know that I'm not alone because I have a strong group of friends who are there when I need them.

Overall, this road that I'm currently striding along is something that I'm never going to regret. This is home. This is where I belong. And this is where I'm going to make it. Hope is the last thing that dies, according to my grandma. I've always been a hopeful person; even when things get dark, there always seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel and that's where the hope lies.

20 New York Life Lessons

Here Are Several Things I've Learned While Living In New York:

1) Always be friendly to the host or hostess. They're you're meal ticket, literally.

2) If you carry a purse with you - there better be an umbrella and a costume change in there. "That's why we carry such big bags." - Brian (a gay New Yorker as to why the bags are so huge).

3) The R train will not take me directly home (so stop riding it), but it will take me to 34th Street or Times Square and I can transfer to the N/W.

4) The guys are hotter! And they're everywhere; waiting for the subway, running shirtless at eight pm on Ditmars Boulevard, sitting in Union Square reading The New Yorker, sipping a martini at Therapy on a Wednesday night, bartending at G-bar...ay me...the possibilities are endless...where are my business cards, seriously?

5) I can only buy what I can carry. Which is probably good for my wallet right now.

6) "Thursdays are the new Fridays. Fridays are the new Saturdays and Saturday is still...well...Saturday." - Adam (describing how New Yorkers party).

7) You can't get lost in the city; it's an island you'd fall off when you get to the end.

8) Always carry CASH with you; especially if you're in a Chelsea bar, they don't take ATM.

9) You can meet people really easily here. All you have to do is talk and smile. Who knew?

10) West of Manhattan the avenues go higher. East of Manhattan the avenues go lower.

11) North of Manhattan the streets go higher. South of Manhattan the streets go lower. (That took me about a month to get and a million times asking Adam and Christov, but they were patient).

12) There is always something to do on any single night of the week.

13) Oscar asks Matthew, "How does someone stay looking fresh and cute in this humidity?" Matthew replies, "You don't. We all do that dirty, grungy, sweaty look in the summer." (Oscar nods his head in disapproval).

14) There are NO FREE REFILLS!

15) I noticed that everything is about one to two dollars more expensive than on the West Coast.

16) "Williamsburg boys wear tapered jeans and have complicated haircuts." - Eli (referring to the gay boys in Williamsburg, Brooklyn as we were waiting for the G train).

17) This city is extremely romantic, I can't wait to start dating.

18) It always seems to rain between one and four p.m.

19) I need to keep my student ID; it will get me cheaper tickets to Broadway shows. Which means I will be a student at the age of thirty-five and that's fine with me.

20) "You're never alone in the city." - Carrie Bradshaw (And boy was she right).

(Times Square, June 2008)

Graduation Is Upon Me

On Saturday, I will be graduating UNLV with a Master of Fine Arts in Playwriting; it's a big accomplishment, not to be taken lightly. I'm actually really proud of myself. There were days that I thought I would never get through it and nights were I would write myself to sleep. 

Anyone who's gone through grad school can tell you it's no walk in the park. It's hard ass hell; it's been some of the toughest three years of my life. I remember in my first year one of the third year playwrights telling me that my first year would be the hardest and it actually wasn't. The hardest year has been this past one, but it's also been really rewarding.

When I receive my 'fake' diploma this Saturday (because most of us know that I won't receive the real diploma until June or July) I will look back on these last three years with found memory knowing that it was worth every tear, laughter, and sacrifice. I remember thinking the night before I moved to Vegas, "Am I doing the right thing?" Now I know that it was, I did do the right thing and I would do it all over again. 

I was having lunch with my friend Sarah last Thursday and we were talking about how being in grad school has been like living in a sheltered bubble for the past three years. We knew exactly how each year was going to be laid out for us. We taught, for the most part, the same classes, and the classes that we took as students were always at the same time, nothing ever changed. I knew that on Tuesdays and Thursdays I would teach Gay Plays from 11:45 am to 12:30 pm, that has been my schedule for the past two years. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, I love to have a set routine, I actually live for a set routine. But now that security blanket will be gone and it's a little frightening.

 

One of the main reasons that I went to grad school was because I didn't like the real world. I was unhappy with the job that I had when I graduated undergrad. I applied to grad school so I could go back to that sheltered life I call school. Am I ready for the real world now? Who knows? But every day millions of people go out there and they seem to be fine; I think I'll be all right. I have to grow up sometime; I can't hide in Neverland forever.

Mike and Oscar at UNLV Graduation (May 2008)