Thoughts

Things seem the same.

I'm trying desperately to grasp on to a future I know nothing of.

Wondering when will I get my chance, at anything really.

Pondering the time when things were different, better in fact,

(Are the lies I tell myself to get me through a sleepless night).

Friends depend on me for the truth, but who do I depend on for my truth?

I'm slowly discovering that the only person that you can rely on is yourself, anything or anyone else are just mere distractions of the reality that we are in fact alone.

My thoughts are mixed in a stewing pot of anticipation,

That something better is arriving.

But as I sit and wait, I get anxious and wonder;

How long can I wait...?

Can I endure what's to come...? 

How bad do I want it...?

Is this something for me...

...and if so, how long am I willing to take the punches that life throws at me?

I'm just tired of waiting...

...waiting for something...anything...

...just waiting...