"The Seagull" on Broadway

Last Wednesday, I had the opportunity to see Anton Chekhov's The Seagull with Kristin Scott Thomas and Peter Sarsgaard, directed by Ian Rickson. The Seagull has always been one of my favorite Chekhov plays and to have the opportunity to see it performed by a talented group of actors and an amazing direction was something I had to witness.

Close to the finale of the play, the character of Nina tells Treplev (also referred to as Kostya) that she finally understands what it is to be an actress. 

Nina: I know now, I understand Kostya, that in our work - and it's all the same, whether we're acting or writing - the main thing is not fame, not glory, the things I dreamed about, but the ability to endure. To endure whatever trials fate has in store for you without losing faith in yourself. I have that faith now, I don't feel as much pain, and when I remember my vocation, I'm not even afraid of life.          (Chekhov, Act IV)  

To endure . . .  that's what life is about. I'm glad that I was reminded of that while watching The Seagull. "To endure whatever trials fate has in store for you without losing faith in yourself." This is something that as artists we need to remind ourselves constantly.  

Subway Etiquette: 5 Simple Rules

All New Yorkers have to ride the subway to get to any place in the city. At times though, it feels that people forget their subway etiquette, so here are 5 Simple Rules to refresh anyone's memory on what to do when riding the subway.

Rule 1:

While listening to your iPOD keep the volume down & don't hum along to the song. That's why you're wearing headphones, so we don't have to listen to it.

Rule 2:

If a performer comes on to your car, don't tap your foot in enjoyment, unless you're willing to pay. And they'll expect money for their entertainment.

Rule 3:

Always offer your seat to an elderly person and/or a woman with a child and a stroller.

Rule 4:

When the doors open and a million people are trying to get in, if you happen to be standing by the doors, please move in! Stop crowding the door, it's rude!

Rule 5:

If you don't want to give up your seat, put on your headphones and act like your sleeping. (Unless this violates Rule 3.)

If all New Yorkers were to follow these simple rules, our subway riding experience would be more enjoyable! 

Saturday Night + Me = LAME!

This is the second weekend in a row that I spend it at home . . . and . . . all alone, mind you.

This is what I did last night . . .  I ate Chinese take-out. Watched "Ghost Whisperer" & "Lipstick Jungle" while folding laundry. Checked my E-mail. Read "Twilight" and went to bed. 

Well today I find myself doing the exact same thing. I am so boring right now. I feel so domestic and I'm not sure why. I'm going to blame the weather; it's gloomy and wet and I'm listening to Matt Nathanson, which always puts me in a good, but nostalgic mood.

My friend D just text me, he's out on the town and he has TWO dates tonight, yes he double booked, and I can't even get ONE! What's wrong with this picture? I live in New York City for crying out loud and I'm at home on a Saturday night, getting ready for bed (and it's only 9:24 PM). I'm also really curious to find out what's going to happen between Bella Sawnson and Edward Cullen. Oh my, if this isn't the definition of a homebody, I don't know what is. 

I need to get out of my apartment! 

I need to go out to a bar and meet a guy!

"I need to put on a tight skirt / And flirt with a stranger"

(Thanks for that Jonathan Larson)

I need to change this pattern fast before I look at my youth and wonder were it went.

Oh geez, I'm so not looking forward to the Winter if this is how I'm feeling in the Fall.

(Sighs)

Reprising A Role

For the past three years I've been teaching undergrads as part of my job in grad school. When I graduated in May that stopped. It's been about six months since I've taught anything and I feel hallow. There's something about being in front of a classroom; lecturing on theatre, teaching non-actors how to act, discussing gay plays and looking at how they influenced the history of theatre, that I dearly miss.

Well . . . starting tomorrow . . . I will reprise that role. I'm walking into the same situation that I stepped in over three years ago; I'm going to be a one-on-one tutor for kids K-12. I don't know if I'm going to be a good tutor and that petrifies me. I'm not going to lie, but I will rise to the occasion. These kids and their parents are depending on me and I will not let them down. I didn't let my undergrads down and I will not let these young kids down either.

I may not have all the answers and that's all right. Saying, "I don't know, but I'll find out for you," isn't a flaw, it's a actually a strength that took me time to polish. 

I recently got hired by Young Playwrights Inc., an organization founded by Stephen Sondheim in the early 80s. Through Young Playwrights Inc., I'll be attending high schools and middle schools, teaching Playwriting to young playwrights. I'm really looking forward to this experience; I'll be teaching something that I love and a craft that I'm still narrowing down. I really believe in the organization's mission and what they're all about.

My ultimate teaching goal is to give classes at Columbia and/or NYU. I know that it will happen in the not so near future. I work hard for what I want . . . it will take time, that I know . . . but it will happen. If being a teacher has taught me anything is to persevere and have patience.

Glitz & Glamour

A week ago today, I went on a date with a guy that I had met at a bar while my parents were in town. We had flirted the whole evening, to the point that my mother asked me for a napkin so she could give this guy my number. The thought of my mother giving this cute guy my number gave me chills, so I introduced myself and avoided the embarrassment. Our first exchange was great; we had drinks after my parents left, and we exchanged numbers, and a couple of kisses all over Hell's Kitchen.

On our first date, Rodney and I had planned to do dinner somewhere in midtown. That day I text him to confirm and he replied letting me know that his friend had invited him to an opening of a new restaurant on Madison and 5th and that we would be drinking and eating for free. He said my favorite word in the English dictionary; FREE. So I agreed. We met at 8:00 P.M. and upon arrival there was a list to get in, tons of flashy people, booze flowing like the Nile River, and appetizers that could have feed a whole Nigerian tribe. 

As Rodney came down the staircase, he was like I had remembered him; his glance endearing, his smile mesmerizing, and his style off the hook. He took me to the VIP booth that his friend was in and got me a drink. 

I can get use to this, I thought. 

For a brief moment, I believed that this is how my life in New York should be. I had a Sex and the City moment; I had a great-gorgeous guy sitting next to me, I was at an opening of a hot restaurant, and having an amazing conversation. 

Could it get any better? I wondered. 

Well, the night went from amazing to sour . . . as we were leaving the restaurant, he told me that the guy that liked him or had a fling with was going to be at this bar in Hell's Kitchen, where we were heading to. Rodney asked me not to go because it would make that guy really uncomfortable if I showed up with him. 

This happened so fast that I didn't have time to process anything, when I realized what had happened he was getting in a cab with his friend heading Uptown and I was left in the cold feeling like a cheap whore.

The thing is . . .  looking back on that night, yes Rodney is a douche bag for what he did, but at the same time he was just being honest and letting me know that he wasn't interested. I mean I can't hate the guy, but I can resent his approach. I haven't had any communication with him and I doubt that I will. 

The smell of his cologne still haunts me.

A Faith Resorted

I went to church yesterday, on my own accord. Not because it was my cousin's daughter's baptism, or because my mother was forcing to me to go. I went to support my friend Adam conduct the church choir and also because it's a gay friendly church; the pastor is gay. So I figured it might be something exciting to experience. I also had a small agenda, I figured that there might be cute boys at Church (and I was right). 

Sitting there, listening to his sermon I realized that the reason I had distanced myself from God and the church has been a stupid one. I always believed that God didn't love me because I was gay...I know...I know...I said the reason was stupid. But when Pastor Phillip said that 'God loves all his children..." I believed him...for the first time in my life I believed him. Not sure if it was because Pastor Phillip is gay and coming from another gay man's lips it's actually real.  

Maybe my faith is resorted a little bit...one thing I know is that I'm going to return on Sunday. I liked being there, it's not like your typical church that I'm use to. This is good for me right now. I need to hold on to something...I need to believe that there is something more than this...